The Lost City of Scarborough

Scarborough was once a great, proud city. It was a bright, gleaming city on a hill. It was a hopeful light in a dark, broken world. All other cities looked to it as a wondrous example. It's people were wise, compassionate and hard working.

But the brilliance of Scarborough and its people made others jealous. So in 1998, the world-renowned city of Scarborough was forcibly amalgamated into the small neighbouring suburb of Toronto. Scarborough's democratically elected mayor was forced to step down and, overcome by shame, immediately committed ritual suicide.

Scarborough is no longer an official city. It is a lost city. But the people of Scarborough now meet in secret to tell stories of the days before amalgamation and make plans for the return of their great metropolis.

It has been more than ten years since amalgamation. I think it is now time to stop whispering the name Scarborough. Citizens of our lost city need to be brazenly vocal. We are a distinct people with a shared history and common values. We should not be afraid to proudly self-identify.

So stop trying to pass yourself off as a Torontonian. You are embarassing yourself.

Somebody needs to put the image above (click it for a larger version) onto a t-shirt, make thousands of copies, and hand them out to every citizen of the lost city of Scarborough.